Day 11: Why do you think you have this illness? Bad luck? A higher power?

Other than the fact that I somehow inherited bad genes, if I lean in any direction, it’s the higher power direction. Can I get a witness?

A few months ago, I started reading a study on the book of Job called  Let God Be God by Ray Stedman. Job is actually the oldest book of the Bible, so we’re talking ancient of ancients. I’m not done with it yet, but I’ve learned a lot. The book of Job shows more than anything that God is in sovereign control. The Lord sets boundaries to Satan’s activity towards human beings; throughout the book, Satan is only allowed to do to Job what God allows; he absolutely cannot break God’s rules. Satan has his reasons for wanting us to suffer, primarily probably because he’s angry with God and wants to attack God, whom we serve, so he carries his attacks out on us. If you think there isn’t a constant spiritual war going on around you, you need to open your eyes. Paul himself says, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12) But God has his reasons for allowing us to suffer, and His reasons will bring perfection out of our pain.

“When we are put to the test, God is involved in our suffering. Our affliction is never meaningless; it always has something to do with God’s eternal purpose.”

Ray Stedman

This may sound like hogwash to some of you, but it’s what I believe. For some reason unknown to me now, God is allowing me to suffer. Do I enjoy it? Absolutely not. Who would enjoy the hell I’ve walked through this year? The infertility. The depression. The brain tumor. The hernia. Today I happen to be feeling particularly awful. I would give almost anything to feel better for once.

But I praise God anyway. And it doesn’t matter to me what you think. I will praise Him in this storm. If I can kick sand in Satan’s face while doing it, even better. The Lord is carrying me through the valley. When I’m spending eternity with my Savior, I’ll ask him about all of this then. I can wait. It’s enough for now to know He’s before me, behind me, and with me always.

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