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An Existence I Don’t Want

An Existence I Don’t Want

I feel down. I can’t stand this brain fog. It’s probably the most frustrating thing I’ve ever had to deal with, and one of the worst parts of dysautonomia/POTS. I’m used to having a sharp, functioning mind that could multi-task. Now I’ll think of something, get out of bed, and then not be able to remember why I got out of bed. I can’t really have thoughtful conversation, even when I’m talking to David. I’ll be talking and then stop…

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One Lovely Blog Award

One Lovely Blog Award

What a treat to be nominated for the One Lovely Blog Award on Valentine’s Day! Thank you spooniemom (aka Tracy) at Me, My Spoons, and I for the nomination! I am honored! Tracy has been fighting an as yet undiagnosed chronic illness for a long time. She is a true spoonie warrior! (You all need to check out her blog and her awesome Etsy store, The Spoonique Boutique! Love the candles but haven’t had a chance to try out the…

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Share Your World-February 13, 2017

Share Your World-February 13, 2017

This will be a weekly post of the most random of random questions to answer- to share my world! Thanks to Cee’s blog for being the brainchild behind this! Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? They’re tucked in at the end of the bed, but untucked everywhere else. Otherwise I feel like I can’t move around. Have you stolen a street sign before? 

Trapped Inside My Own Mind

Trapped Inside My Own Mind

via Daily Prompt: Heard What do you do when you feel you’re not being heard? By family? By friends? By God? I don’t think it’s their fault. It’s not their fault. It’s my fault. My mind is such a foggy mess right now. It’s like there’s a short somewhere, or a connection that’s gone bad. I have all these things I want to say, I need to say, but I can’t think of what they are. I feel as though I’m…

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Can’t I Just Be “Whelmed”?

Can’t I Just Be “Whelmed”?

via Daily Prompt: Overwhelming It doesn’t take a psychiatrist to figure out that right now my life is exceptionally overwhelming. I thought I’d gone through a lot last year, which I did. Unfortunately, it appears, at least so far, that 2017 is turning out to be a real stinker as well. And we’re only a month in! Maybe listing everything I’m overwhelmed about will help. I’ll try to make this as coherent as possible. However, between this perpetual brainfog and…

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I’m a Little POTSie…

I’m a Little POTSie…

Sometimes the only way to get the best care is to take things into your own hands. I’ve done it before, and now I’ve had to do it again. But I’m glad I did. Dr. J had told me to call his office about a week after my testing that occurred on January 11th and January 13th to talk to a nurse about my results. So I called on Thursday the 19th. They said they’d call me back in a…

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A Day With Dysautonomia

A Day With Dysautonomia

What’s it like to have dysautonomia? Let me take you through a day in my compression socks so you have some idea of what I fight through on a daily basis. Imagine it’s a new day. You wake up and get out of bed. You do your business and then brush your teeth (with an electric toothbrush, by the way.) As you’re doing this, you place two of your fingers over your carotid artery. Your heart rate is rapid, probably in…

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Brain Fog

Brain Fog

There are a lot of things I hate about having dysautonomia. The dizziness, the lightheadedness, the tachycardia, the salt, the fluids, the compression socks (even though mine are cute), the occasional need for a wheelchair in public that makes people think I’m a crazy faker because sometimes I can walk and sometimes I can’t (because people don’t understand invisible disabilities.) But one of the main things I hate about dysautonomia is part of the reason I have been writing less…

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Modifications and Coping

Modifications and Coping

Finally, a post that’s not about dry medical procedures and appointments! I’m not expecting this post to be much of anything, though. I just need an outlet to get my thoughts together. Since my appointment with Dr. J the first week of January, I’ve made the specified modifications he asked me to do to help me feel better. But it’s not all physical things I’m dealing with. My emotions are all over the place right now, going from angry to…

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Non-Tilty Tilt and QSART

Non-Tilty Tilt and QSART

Today I had what is hopefully the last of my testing to determine which form of dysautonomia I have and what caused it. Combined with my testing from the other day, I’m hoping the diagnosis and cause should be fairly evident by the time all is said and done. I could hardly sleep last night worrying about these tests. I literally slept from 4:30 am-6:30 am, so I definitely wasn’t feeling my best when we arrived at the hospital. This…

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