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Tag: fatigue

An Existence I Can No Longer Have

An Existence I Can No Longer Have

Master Yoda was right. “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Well, give me my red lightsaber now. I’ve feared for the past year since I went on medical leave (on June 10, 2016) that this day would come. That my recovery wouldn’t happen fast enough for the almighty powers that be and that my position would be posted,

Trapped Inside My Own Mind

Trapped Inside My Own Mind

via Daily Prompt: Heard What do you do when you feel you’re not being heard? By family? By friends? By God? I don’t think it’s their fault. It’s not their fault. It’s my fault. My mind is such a foggy mess right now. It’s like there’s a short somewhere, or a connection that’s gone bad. I have all these things I want to say, I need to say, but I can’t think of what they are. I feel as though I’m…

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I’m a Little POTSie…

I’m a Little POTSie…

Sometimes the only way to get the best care is to take things into your own hands. I’ve done it before, and now I’ve had to do it again. But I’m glad I did. Dr. J had told me to call his office about a week after my testing that occurred on January 11th and January 13th to talk to a nurse about my results. So I called on Thursday the 19th. They said they’d call me back in a…

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A Day With Dysautonomia

A Day With Dysautonomia

What’s it like to have dysautonomia? Let me take you through a day in my compression socks so you have some idea of what I fight through on a daily basis. Imagine it’s a new day. You wake up and get out of bed. You do your business and then brush your teeth (with an electric toothbrush, by the way.) As you’re doing this, you place two of your fingers over your carotid artery. Your heart rate is rapid, probably in…

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Brain Fog

Brain Fog

There are a lot of things I hate about having dysautonomia. The dizziness, the lightheadedness, the tachycardia, the salt, the fluids, the compression socks (even though mine are cute), the occasional need for a wheelchair in public that makes people think I’m a crazy faker because sometimes I can walk and sometimes I can’t (because people don’t understand invisible disabilities.) But one of the main things I hate about dysautonomia is part of the reason I have been writing less…

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Modifications and Coping

Modifications and Coping

Finally, a post that’s not about dry medical procedures and appointments! I’m not expecting this post to be much of anything, though. I just need an outlet to get my thoughts together. Since my appointment with Dr. J the first week of January, I’ve made the specified modifications he asked me to do to help me feel better. But it’s not all physical things I’m dealing with. My emotions are all over the place right now, going from angry to…

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The Light

The Light

Like an unsung melody The truth is waiting there for you to find it It’s not a blight, but a remedy A clear reminder of how it began Deep inside your memory Turned away as you struggled to find it You heard the call as you walked away A voice of calm from within the silence And for what seemed an eternity You’re waiting, hoping it would call out again You heard the shadow reckoning Then your fears seemed to…

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The Dysautonomia Hunt Begins…

The Dysautonomia Hunt Begins…

And 2017 is off to just as fabulous a start as 2016 was. (That was sarcasm.) Only the third day in and I’m already being given a million-dollar workup. I’m having a difficult time deciding where to begin. There’s a whole ton of information flying through my head that I’m having trouble keeping track of. Not to mention I’m so overwhelmed I can barely think. I called last Thursday to schedule an appointment with a cardiologist and got in quickly…

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For All That You Have Done

For All That You Have Done

Start humming “Auld Lang Syne.” (Seriously, just work with me here.) “Your grace will never be forgot Your mercy all my life Will be my soul’s forever song My story and my light…” It’s easy for me to sit here and bash 2016 for what a horrendous year it was. I’ve already done a pretty good job of that in my personal journal. I am not yet done grieving the past year and what it did to me. But I…

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Top Posts of 2016: Endo and Tumors and Aneurysms, oh my!

Top Posts of 2016: Endo and Tumors and Aneurysms, oh my!

As the year is (finally!) drawing to a close, I decided to go back and look at some of my old posts to see how life has changed in the past six months since I started this blog. My goal was, and still is, to raise awareness about certain chronic health issues that affect me, including endometriosis, adenomyosis, infertility, depression, self harm, social anxiety, celiac disease, pituitary tumor, and I guess that pesky little aneurysm. Here are my top ten…

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