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Nocturnal Musings #18: A New Me?

Nocturnal Musings #18: A New Me?

I haven’t done one of these in awhile. My last one was in December, I believe. Even in two short months, my life has changed a great deal. Not for the better, unfortunately. And since I’m having some painsomnia along with my general refusal to sleep at night for the most part anymore, I guess I may as well talk about it to some more sympathetic ears than I’ve been getting the past few days. I lost my job last…

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An Angry Uterus

An Angry Uterus

Sorry men, this post may be too much for you. Unless you’re used to being around angry uteruses. Right now my uterus is angry. Feisty. Rebellious. And just generally pissed off. The result of which is why I am awake at 3:30 am when I’m really tired and just want to sleep. But no. The drama queen is awake and active.

Subdued

Subdued

via Daily Prompt: Subdued This is a republish from a month ago…I published it and then it somehow unpublished itself back into my drafts…so here’s a post from the middle of October! I’ve been quite subdued this week. The Google definition of subdued is “quiet and rather reflective or depressed.” I really can’t think of a better word to describe my state of being at the moment.

Trust Also in Me

Trust Also in Me

via Daily Prompt: Trust I have trust issues. With my body and health in particular. But is it any wonder? Considering all the health disasters I’ve had this year, I don’t trust my body as far as I could throw myself. I’ve had enough issues, it’s hard to trust that I’ll ever really be well again. And maybe I won’t. That’s the nature of incurable diseases. But that’s kind of a weird thing, isn’t it? To not trust your body?…

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Nocturnal Musings #16: Now What?

Nocturnal Musings #16: Now What?

It’s 7 am, but still pitch black outside. Such is October. Sunrise isn’t for another half hour. I’m not in the best of moods this morning. While I sort of successfully got my sleep switched over so I’m not awake all night, now I can’t sleep for more than 2-3 hours at a time, so I’m constantly tired. Yesterday I slept from roughly 2-5 am, then 4-7 pm. Tonight (today?) I don’t even really know when I slept. I may…

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Nocturnal Musings #15: The Meaning of Strength?

Nocturnal Musings #15: The Meaning of Strength?

I feel horrible right now. Either I caught a cold at the hospital on Friday that somehow already manifested itself Sunday morning, or my new, more powerful nasal rinse is knocking loose some serious crap still stuck in my upper sinuses. My nose is draining the nastiest looking stuff. I didn’t even sleep last night because I was so congested and I doubt I’ll sleep tonight either. My ENT says it should lessen up as the week goes on and…

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Onward and Upward

Onward and Upward

Friday I had my first post-op follow-up visit after my brain surgery two weeks ago, this one with the ENT surgeon Dr. Sindwani. He scoped my nose and removed what he called “scar bands” that had formed, which he said is fairly common. This caused a bit of a bloody nose, but that’s pretty typical for me anyway. But he said everything looks great and he’ll see me back in four months! He cleared me of all restrictions, but I’m…

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Nocturnal Musings #14: Up All Night

Nocturnal Musings #14: Up All Night

Although the current time is no longer nocturnal, I was literally up all night and started thinking about maybe writing a blog post in the predawn hours, so I’m going to count it anyway. Yes, I was up all night. And I’m obviously still awake, even though it’s after 10 am. Maybe thinking through and writing down what is on my mind will help me pinpoint why I’ve been awake and will help me get to sleep. This will be…

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Nocturnal Musings #13: Tired and Wired

Nocturnal Musings #13: Tired and Wired

Have you ever been overwhelmed by something after the fact? You go through something, and it’s over, but when it’s afterwards and you really start thinking about it, it becomes overwhelming? In the words of Tony Stark… My life feels like that right now. It’s 3:30 am and I can’t sleep. I’m dead tired because I’ve been dead tired since the surgery last week. But sleep seems so far away at the moment. Plus we have a thunderstorm about to…

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Nocturnal Musings #11: Trying to Save a Life

Nocturnal Musings #11: Trying to Save a Life

*May contain triggers for domestic violence * I could have gone to bed a few hours ago. I was planning to around 4 am. But then as I was perusing Facebook one last time, I came across a disturbing status in one of the many endo groups I’m a part of. A sister posted that she had just been abused by her boyfriend and he had cut her with a knife. She was scared and had nowhere to escape to….

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