In Which People I’ve Never Met Become My Friends

I’ve always been a difficult person to be friends with. And I’m not easy to love.

Although life didn’t start out that way. One day in pre-school, my mom was shocked to see me sitting at a table with all the little boys in the class crowding around me, the only girl at the table. If only I had such admiration ten years later!

In all seriousness, I think a lot of my friend-making difficulty stems from my social anxiety, which started baring its teeth around the age of nine. There were really a lot of people who didn’t like me for reasons explained in that post, and it scarred me for life. I still remember the torment and how it made me feel. I was always the smart one, not the pretty one, and brains didn’t earn you many friends. Middle school and high school were awful for obvious reasons, so I was thrilled to go to college over 400 miles away from home where I didn’t know a soul. Friendships were much easier to maintain there because everyone was starting on a clean slate.

But it’s now been almost seven years since I graduated from pharmacy school. I’m almost seven years into my career. But for the past ten months, I’ve been on medical leave in order to have and recover from three surgeries in a four-month period:Β hernia repair, brain tumor removal, and aneurysm stenting. However, just as I was about to go back to work, POTS happened, likely as a result of all those surgeries. And having POTS sucks incredibly. It’s not something I would wish on my worst enemy.

But what does this have to do with friendship?

Everything. Continue reading “In Which People I’ve Never Met Become My Friends”

Nocturnal Musings #20: Junk

No sleep for me. I’ve turned nocturnal again recently. But that’s not the main reason I’m awake right now.

I was awake for 30 hours straight the other day. No idea why, I just didn’t want to sleep. So yesterday I then slept for 20 hours. This got me doubly dehydrated, despite drinking a total of a liter of water throughout the day during my brief awakenings. (Although now my body laughsΒ at such a puny amount of water!)Β I’ve now been awake for eight hours, but still feel awful. It would probably be dangerous for me to go to sleep now without being fully hydrated. So I’m awake still, trying to catch up.

Staring at the wall. Continue reading “Nocturnal Musings #20: Junk”

Share Your World- March 27, 2017

This will be a weekly post of the most random of random questions to answer- to share my world! Thanks to Cee’s blog for being the brainchild behind this!

Does your first or middle name have any significance (or were you named after another family member)? My first name, no. My middle name is my mother’s first name (same with my brother; his middle name is my father’s first name.)

Music or silence while working? It really depends on what I’m doing and what kind of mood I’m in. I have music on right now and I generally do while I’m blogging. But while I’m writing in my journal, I’m a bit more introspective, so I prefer silence. If I happen to be doing anything else, like folding laundry, I like music to be on. Continue reading “Share Your World- March 27, 2017”

A Letter to the 12-year-old me, who doesn’t know she has endo…

Dear Little πŸ’›ribbonrx,

This is you, from the future. I know that seems kind of strange, but I wanted to give you this special opportunity, brought to you by an alien known as The Doctor (see that Blue Police Box in the backyard?) to let you know that everything is going to be ok and to tell you about something really important. Continue reading “A Letter to the 12-year-old me, who doesn’t know she has endo…”