Why should I feel guilty about something I can’t control? That’s what part of my mind says. But the part that actually controls my feelings completely overrides that. This is in part due to experiences I’ve had that have made me feel guilty, whether the feelings were actually warranted or not. Individuals with chronic…
via Daily Prompt: Waiting Sometimes I feel like that’s all I do. Wait. The life of a person with chronic illness is full of waiting.
via Daily Prompt: Trust I have trust issues. With my body and health in particular. But is it any wonder? Considering all the health disasters I’ve had this year, I don’t trust my body as far as I could throw myself. I’ve had enough issues, it’s hard to trust that I’ll ever really be…
I was supposed to be normal today (well, now yesterday, I suppose…) I was supposed to go to the Skillet concert with David and my endo sister April and her daughter. We had box seats and everything. Sort of an early birthday present. I love Skillet and I’ve never had the chance to see…
This is, verbatim, a journal entry of mine from January 17th and 18th, 2016, back when I did a lot of writing prompts. It’s interesting to look back on now. Another writing prompt I saw online was to list out 100 things that you want. At first I thought that sounded kind of selfish,…
I wonder what it’s going to be like to feel better. That is, totally and completely better. What does it feel like to not have a headache every second of every day? I can’t recall. Or to have energy, where I don’t have to fight with myself and give myself a pep talk just…
I’ve heard the stories, and I’m sure some of you have as well. Every now and then, someone in one of my Facebook support groups will post the news that her significant other is leaving because he or she can’t deal with her chronic illness. Sometimes this is a breakup; other times it means…
I feel horrible right now. Either I caught a cold at the hospital on Friday that somehow already manifested itself Sunday morning, or my new, more powerful nasal rinse is knocking loose some serious crap still stuck in my upper sinuses. My nose is draining the nastiest looking stuff. I didn’t even sleep last…
Friday I had my first post-op follow-up visit after my brain surgery two weeks ago, this one with the ENT surgeon Dr. Sindwani. He scoped my nose and removed what he called “scar bands” that had formed, which he said is fairly common. This caused a bit of a bloody nose, but that’s pretty…
Given that September is almost over and my birthday is at the end of October, I’ve already started to get questions from family members about what I want for my birthday. I hate this question. Not that I don’t like birthdays and receiving gifts. I love books and would love enough blank journals (spiral-bound,…
