It’s been ages since I’ve written anything on the blog. Six months, to be exact. Life has undergone some fairly significant changes since then. And that story begins back on my birthday.

The weather on my birthday is usually cloudy, cool, and dreary. Such is normal for the end of October, and this year, my 33rd, was no exception. We’d had some new friends visiting from out of state/country for several days prior. They headed off that morning for the last leg of their trip.

As hubby and I went back inside after seeing them off, he mentioned he was going to give his dad a call.

Perfect.

Operation Birthday: Phase One

While hubby was lounging on the couch chatting with his dad, I made a beeline for our master bathroom and opened the cabinet under my sink with trepidation. I had been plotting planning this for a few weeks, but now that it was time to move forward with it, I found myself doubting.

It had been five years. Five years of disappointments, mental health issues, treatment failures, diagnoses, surgeries. Five years of tears. Five years of doubt.

Yet in my unexplainable certainty of the outcome, I decided to use a digital test. As I waited the roughly 30 seconds the test required (an eternity at the time), I tried to mentally prepare myself.

We’d only been trying again for three months. Yes, my period was five days late (for me), but that had happened before. Beyond that “funny feeling” I’d had since the start of October, what made me think this time would be any different than the dozens of times previously?

But it was. It was.

It’s a good thing hubby was on the other side of the house, because the noise I made when the word PREGNANT flashed up on the little screen was surely the gasp heard ‘round the world.

Operation Birthday: Phase Two

As I dissolved into shocked tears, I stumbled my way to the closet to prepare to enact the next part of the plan. A plan over three years in the making. I rummaged through my closet shelves, trying to remember the last place I had seen the shirt I was seeking. After ordering it in 2015, I had shoved it back into the envelope, stuffed it under more stuff on a closet shelf, and sworn I would never look at it again until the right time.

Which was now. Wonder of wonders, it was now.

Upon locating the shirt, I put it on and shrugged at my reflection in the mirror. The shirt hung loose, but I figured I’d grow into it over the next several months. Putting on my robe and popping the evidence and my phone into my pocket, I ventured out to the family room to try to get hubby off the phone.

Operation Birthday: Phase Three Mouse

As I sat in the recliner trying to think of a legitimate reason for hubby to cut his call short, a tussle in the foyer attracted his attention. I couldn’t see what he was looking at, but he suddenly said, “Dad, I have to go. The cats are chasing a real mouse!”

I quickly grabbed a container in which to try to catch the mouse while hubby shooed the cats away from the terrified little creature. We were relieved to see the mouse was unharmed. Of course, it then managed to dart away and hide under the buffet. I grabbed some yard sticks and we were able to corner the mouse so it could only run forward into the container. After a few tense minutes, we caught the mouse and hubby released it outside to live another day. I silently thanked the little mouse for helping to move my plan forward.

Operation Birthday: Phase Four

Once hubby had closed the front door, I pulled my phone out and started recording a video. I felt like I was driving 100 mph with no way to hit the brakes.

“I do have a question for you, though,” I said nervously.

“What’s that?” he responded.

Opening my robe, I said, “What do you think of my new shirt?”

He stood there scratching his head (literally), trying to decipher the meaning of the shirt.

FUTURE TIME LORD. REGENERATION IN PROGRESS.

“Does that mean…does that mean you got a…” Voice trembling, he finished his thought, “…positive test?”

I pulled the positive pregnancy test out of my pocket and handed it to him. Upon seeing the word PREGNANT, he inhaled, wrapped me in a big hug, and started sobbing.

I couldn’t help but join in.

More to come…

💛ribbonrx