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Planning Through the Brain Fog

Planning Through the Brain Fog

When you have a medical condition like POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), which affects the blood flow to your brain, or even conditions like fibromyalgia or Lyme Disease, using your brain to its fullest potential becomes a daunting and often maddeningly frustrating task. As I’ve written in the past, brain fog isn’t the occasional forgetfulness that us sleep-deprived adults have to deal with. And it’s not just “getting old” (I’m 31, for heaven’s sake!) Sometimes I can’t even remember things…

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Inside the Mind of a Sick Person

Inside the Mind of a Sick Person

“What do sick people think about? How do you know when you start to be a sick person?” This statement by author Nina Riggs in her memoir, The Bright Hour, was spoken when she woke up one morning shortly after she was diagnosed with breast cancer. When I read it, it gave me pause. I tried to remember if I had ever had a similar thought and couldn’t locate one anywhere in my memory, although that’s not saying much nowadays….

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Friends, Can You Help Me?

Friends, Can You Help Me?

I’ll try to keep this short and sweet so as to not burden anyone. I need help from you, my faithful readers. The brain fog caused by one of my medical conditions, POTS, a form of dysautonomia, has made it monumentally difficult for me to think. It’s like…my thoughts won’t connect, or certain parts of my brain won’t talk to each other. I can almost feel this void in the middle of my head, like a bridge is out over…

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Share Your World: June 5, 2017

Share Your World: June 5, 2017

This will be a weekly post of the most random of random questions to answer- to share my world! Thanks to Cee’s blog for being the brainchild behind this! What’s your strongest sense? Smell. (I must have been a dog or cat in a past life.) Many of my memories are based on smells. It was so weird after my brain surgery when I couldn’t smell anything at all for a week or two because the tumor was removed through my nose….

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Things We Lost in the Fire

Things We Lost in the Fire

“Things we lost to the flame Things we’ll never see again All that we’ve amassed Sits before us, shattered into ash…” Things We Lost in the Fire (Bastille)   As Esther Smith said in her excellent book, When Chronic Pain and Illness Take Everything Away, “Grief is the process by which we actively release all that we feel, question, and remember at the feet of God and the people He has placed in our lives.” At the end of the second…

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Nocturnal Musings #20: Junk

Nocturnal Musings #20: Junk

No sleep for me. I’ve turned nocturnal again recently. But that’s not the main reason I’m awake right now. I was awake for 30 hours straight the other day. No idea why, I just didn’t want to sleep. So yesterday I then slept for 20 hours. This got me doubly dehydrated, despite drinking a total of a liter of water throughout the day during my brief awakenings. (Although now my body laughs at such a puny amount of water!) I’ve now been…

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Nocturnal Musings #19: The Things You Learn

Nocturnal Musings #19: The Things You Learn

I’m awake since I feel a bit sick right now. Nausea has become a fairly common occurrence during my days now, likely from all the salt tablets I’m ingesting…and all the food I’m not ingesting. I really don’t care, either. So, it’s been a bit since I really updated at all because I’ve been reblogging my endometriosis-related posts this month to spread awareness. But what else have I been up to?

An Existence I Can No Longer Have

An Existence I Can No Longer Have

Master Yoda was right. “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Well, give me my red lightsaber now. I’ve feared for the past year since I went on medical leave (on June 10, 2016) that this day would come. That my recovery wouldn’t happen fast enough for the almighty powers that be and that my position would be posted,

An Existence I Don’t Want

An Existence I Don’t Want

I feel down. I can’t stand this brain fog. It’s probably the most frustrating thing I’ve ever had to deal with, and one of the worst parts of dysautonomia/POTS. I’m used to having a sharp, functioning mind that could multi-task. Now I’ll think of something, get out of bed, and then not be able to remember why I got out of bed. I can’t really have thoughtful conversation, even when I’m talking to David. I’ll be talking and then stop…

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