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Month: September 2016

How Chronic Illness Showed Me What Love Is

How Chronic Illness Showed Me What Love Is

I’ve heard the stories, and I’m sure some of you have as well. Every now and then, someone in one of my Facebook support groups will post the news that her significant other is leaving because he or she can’t deal with her chronic illness. Sometimes this is a breakup; other times it means divorce. No matter how big or small the breakup, this is a tragedy that plays out too often in the world today. It makes me sad….

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Nocturnal Musings #15: The Meaning of Strength?

Nocturnal Musings #15: The Meaning of Strength?

I feel horrible right now. Either I caught a cold at the hospital on Friday that somehow already manifested itself Sunday morning, or my new, more powerful nasal rinse is knocking loose some serious crap still stuck in my upper sinuses. My nose is draining the nastiest looking stuff. I didn’t even sleep last night because I was so congested and I doubt I’ll sleep tonight either. My ENT says it should lessen up as the week goes on and…

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The Ultimate Game of Pretend

The Ultimate Game of Pretend

via Daily Prompt: Pretend *Trigger warning for depression and self harm* For me, my depression was all about pretending. Just keep smiling and no one will notice. Just keep saying, “I’m fine” and they will assume you are. For several months, not until I went public with it on my blog, no one except my husband knew what I was hiding behind my smile.

Onward and Upward

Onward and Upward

Friday I had my first post-op follow-up visit after my brain surgery two weeks ago, this one with the ENT surgeon Dr. Sindwani. He scoped my nose and removed what he called “scar bands” that had formed, which he said is fairly common. This caused a bit of a bloody nose, but that’s pretty typical for me anyway. But he said everything looks great and he’ll see me back in four months! He cleared me of all restrictions, but I’m…

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Grown Up Birthday List

Grown Up Birthday List

Given that September is almost over and my birthday is at the end of October, I’ve already started to get questions from family members about what I want for my birthday. I hate this question. Not that I don’t like birthdays and receiving gifts. I love books and would love enough blank journals (spiral-bound, please) to fill a warehouse. But as I’ve gotten older, it’s become harder and harder to think of things I want for my birthday. I usually…

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The Eternal Headache

The Eternal Headache

It’s been two weeks since my brain surgery that removed Mini, my itty-bitty 6 mm prolactinoma that despite its size, caused all sorts of problems. Most of my post-op symptoms have resolved themselves. My sinuses seem quite clear and I’m doing saline nasal rinses three times a day to make sure they stay clear. I have no drainage from my nose anymore, so I can normalize a little bit and not need tissues and a wastebasket next to the bed….

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Nocturnal Musings #14: Up All Night

Nocturnal Musings #14: Up All Night

Although the current time is no longer nocturnal, I was literally up all night and started thinking about maybe writing a blog post in the predawn hours, so I’m going to count it anyway. Yes, I was up all night. And I’m obviously still awake, even though it’s after 10 am. Maybe thinking through and writing down what is on my mind will help me pinpoint why I’ve been awake and will help me get to sleep. This will be…

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The Pain Problem

The Pain Problem

Reblogging my post from last month on the stigma of the use of narcotics for management of chronic pain, since September is Pain Awareness Month here in the United States. Please give it a read, even if (especially if) you don’t suffer from chronic pain.

The Seasons Will Fly

The Seasons Will Fly

As I sit here spending my time as a football widow, I can’t help but think about all the goings on of the past year. My journey through infertility, through depression, through pelvic pain, through a brain tumor. I tend to do this every now and then when the calendar comes up on a specific time of year, such as a change of seasons. I don’t know why, I just do. I tend to find that my mind is either…

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Nocturnal Musings #13: Tired and Wired

Nocturnal Musings #13: Tired and Wired

Have you ever been overwhelmed by something after the fact? You go through something, and it’s over, but when it’s afterwards and you really start thinking about it, it becomes overwhelming? In the words of Tony Stark… My life feels like that right now. It’s 3:30 am and I can’t sleep. I’m dead tired because I’ve been dead tired since the surgery last week. But sleep seems so far away at the moment. Plus we have a thunderstorm about to…

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