She Told Me I Was Beautiful

And now she’s dead.

Back up.

This post contains discussions of untimely death and suicide. Please stay safe and steer clear if these subjects may be triggering for you.

One of the interesting things about having chronic illness(es) is how your friendships change. In many unfortunate cases, people who were once your friends fade into the background. Sometimes it’s because they’re uncomfortable being around someone who is ill. Or maybe they don’t like the new version of this person they knew for so long. Or they could simply just not believe there’s anything wrong with this person because, like it or not, many chronic illnesses are invisible illnesses.

As a result of this, many individuals with chronic illness develop online friendships with others who are ill; people like themselves who understand exactly what they’re going through. Although not all of these friendships are with people who are ill. I have found new friends who are like-minded in faith and love of literature who I care for just as much.

But in the world of cyberspace, these friendships can result in heartache more often than you might think.

Continue reading “She Told Me I Was Beautiful”

April Book Haul

All quoted blurbs are from Goodreads.

This month I only ordered two books from the Book of the Month club.

IMG_1180American War by Omar El Akkad (2017). I can’t  think of any better way to describes it than the Goodreads synopsis: “A second American Civil War, a devastating plague, and one family caught deep in the middle a story that asks what might happen if America were to turn its most devastating policies and deadly weapons upon itself.” Just frightening enough to make you wonder…

IMG_1181One Day We’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter by Scaachi Koul (2017). Again, the Goodreads synopsis: “Scaachi deploys her razor-sharp humour to share her fears, outrages and mortifying experiences as an outsider growing up in Canada. Where strict gender rules bind in both Western and Indian cultures, forcing her to confront questions about gender dynamics, racial tensions, ethnic stereotypes and her father’s creeping mortality–all as she tries to find her feet in the world.” Continue reading “April Book Haul”

Share Your World: April 24, 2017

This will be a weekly post of the most random of random questions to answer- to share my world! Thanks to Cee’s blog for being the brainchild behind this!

Wanting something to quench your thirst, what would you drink? This is an interesting question, given the fact that I have POTS, which means I take in about 4-5 liters of fluid a day just to be able to stand up. Most of that is Gatorade, with a little bit being water, water with a Nuun tablet, pop, or milk. But of all the beverages I drink every day, Gatorade is the most thirst-quenching for me, probably because my body craves the sodium and other electrolytes.

Complete this sentence: Never In My Life Have I…

Continue reading “Share Your World: April 24, 2017”

A Good Thing

That place still traumatizes me.

Wait, back up. I should start at the beginning.

Yesterday it was finally time for my 7-month MRI following my brain tumor removal last September (and my 7th lifetime MRI at that!) My mom came down a few days ago to spend some time with me while my husband was out of town, and to drive me to my appointments.

I was already stressed out about the day because of the timing. My MRI was scheduled for 9:20 am at a nearby family health center. Originally, my appointment with my neurosurgeon was at 11:40 am at main campus, but last week it was changed to 9:40 am. The office called me and told me it was ok to get there as soon as I could after the MRI. Ok, then…but it still stressed me out because if there is one thing I can’t stand, it’s tardiness. Continue reading “A Good Thing”

Share Your World: April 10, 2017

This will be a weekly post of the most random of random questions to answer- to share my world! Thanks to Cee’s blog for being the brainchild behind this!

Have you ever participated in a distance walking, swimming, running, or biking event? Tell your story. Well, I suppose it wasn’t a “distance” event in terms of how that term is usually used. But in March 2015, I took part in the 2nd Annual Worldwide EndoMarch in Washington D.C., an event that also occurred on the same day in dozens of cities throughout the world. This event raises awareness for endometriosis, a painful condition which affects 1 in 10 women worldwide, which I happen to suffer from. The march itself is fairly short, given the degree of pain many of the women are in. I haven’t been able to participate the past two years for other health reasons, but the one time I went was amazing! I did not know the ladies I’m pictured with below before the march, but we found each other as members of our home state and marched together!

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Continue reading “Share Your World: April 10, 2017”

Nocturnal Musings #21: A Conversation

A lot of people find it hard to believe that God still speaks to us today. But He does. Not in the way He used to in ancient times to the Prophets; if I heard a deep voice bellow my name out of thin air, I think I’d have a heart attack right then and there!

But if you are listening and honestly seeking Him, you can hear Him if He has something to say. My former youth pastor, John, said it like this: “You know how when you’re in a loud, crowded room, and you hear someone you know really well call your name, and you know it’s them without having to turn around? That’s what hearing God’s voice is like. You know it’s Him.”

I have also found I know when the Lord is speaking to me when I’m thinking a question and the answer is given (in that recognizable voice), while I’m still thinking, before I’ve even finished thinking the question. You can’t think two thoughts at the exact same time.

I had such an encounter tonight. I wasn’t going to share this, because it is a private journal entry, but I feel like the Lord wants me to. So here’s the entry in its entirety, with no edits. Continue reading “Nocturnal Musings #21: A Conversation”

Share Your World- March 27, 2017

This will be a weekly post of the most random of random questions to answer- to share my world! Thanks to Cee’s blog for being the brainchild behind this!

Does your first or middle name have any significance (or were you named after another family member)? My first name, no. My middle name is my mother’s first name (same with my brother; his middle name is my father’s first name.)

Music or silence while working? It really depends on what I’m doing and what kind of mood I’m in. I have music on right now and I generally do while I’m blogging. But while I’m writing in my journal, I’m a bit more introspective, so I prefer silence. If I happen to be doing anything else, like folding laundry, I like music to be on. Continue reading “Share Your World- March 27, 2017”