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Tag: chronic pain

Abandoning the Dream

Abandoning the Dream

Seven years ago, I graduated from pharmacy school with my doctor of pharmacy degree. Seven years ago, I moved to a new city as a newlywed, fresh back from our honeymoon. And seven years ago today, June 14th, I started my career as a pediatric pharmacist. My dream job. And now I wonder…was there even a point? We started off as children. Teenagers right out of high school dedicating ourselves to a highly esteemed profession, one which consistently ranks very high among the…

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The Last Shift

The Last Shift

If you’ve been following my blog since before October 2016 or so, you might remember that I attempted to return to work on October 24th, six weeks after my brain surgery. You may also remember that it was a complete disaster and I have been unable to work since. But since that was a one-off failure, I don’t count that day as my last day of work. The day that gets that designation in my book is June 10th. That’s…

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Fighting Back With Love

Fighting Back With Love

Recently, I wrote a post that ended up being quite popular within the dysautonomia community. It’s actually been the most popular post I’ve written this year. I honestly have no idea why; I have read it over and over again and can’t seem to find what is so remarkable about it. When I asked my husband, even he said there was nothing profound about it. (Thanks, honey; I can always count on you to be honest. ?) But whatever it…

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When Your Depression Is Invalidated

When Your Depression Is Invalidated

One of the worst feelings you can experience as a chronically ill person is invalidation. It’s not necessarily that others don’t believe you (although that is also a tremendous problem and a discussion for another time), but that they either don’t see or don’t understand how much your illness(es) impact your daily life. Especially when mental health plays a role in your battles. And what makes it even more frustrating? When that invalidation comes from healthcare professionals. When, to their…

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Rebellion Gone Wrong

Rebellion Gone Wrong

I’m not quite sure I’ve gone this long without updating my blog before, even after my multiple surgeries last year. This week has been a weird one, though, and I just haven’t felt like writing. Probably because of my rebellion that kind of ended up going sideways. Hubby was out of town presenting at an emergency medicine conference in Orlando, so I’ve been alone with the cats all week. They’re used to me being home all the time, but not…

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Share Your World: May 15, 2017

Share Your World: May 15, 2017

This will be a weekly post of the most random of random questions to answer- to share my world! Thanks to Cee’s blog for being the brainchild behind this! How many languages do you you speak? Two. Like the vast majority of American kids, I took Spanish in high school, but I don’t remember enough to really speak it. I especially realized this when my husband and I traveled to Honduras in 2012 to meet our sponsor child through Compassion International, Heybi….

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She Told Me I Was Beautiful

She Told Me I Was Beautiful

And now she’s dead. Back up. This post contains discussions of untimely death and suicide. Please stay safe and steer clear if these subjects may be triggering for you. One of the interesting things about having chronic illness(es) is how your friendships change. In many unfortunate cases, people who were once your friends fade into the background. Sometimes it’s because they’re uncomfortable being around someone who is ill. Or maybe they don’t like the new version of this person they…

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Things We Lost in the Fire

Things We Lost in the Fire

“Things we lost to the flame Things we’ll never see again All that we’ve amassed Sits before us, shattered into ash…” Things We Lost in the Fire (Bastille)   As Esther Smith said in her excellent book, When Chronic Pain and Illness Take Everything Away, “Grief is the process by which we actively release all that we feel, question, and remember at the feet of God and the people He has placed in our lives.” At the end of the second…

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2016, In the Style of Personal Journals: March

2016, In the Style of Personal Journals: March

Way behind in publishing this, but I still want to continue this series. Last year was a rough year for me due to all the medical problems I had. I poured out my heart and soul into my personal journals, which were my lifeline keeping me somewhat grounded. To give you an idea of what it was really like to go through all that I did, the rest of this entry is only direct quotes from my journals. I plan…

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