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Tag: anxiety

…That Surpasses Understanding

…That Surpasses Understanding

For the past week or so, something has been happening to me that I can’t explain. My sleep has been a bit off-kilter, although this isn’t unusual. Since I don’t work anymore, my circadian rhythm somewhat resembles this: Anyway, on some days, I’ve found myself awake very early, between 4 and 5 am, unable to sleep anymore. Ok, whatever. Not a big deal. But once the sun comes up, it starts. A near-skin-tingling anxiety that has me pacing, sitting on…

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Nocturnal Musings #19: The Things You Learn

Nocturnal Musings #19: The Things You Learn

I’m awake since I feel a bit sick right now. Nausea has become a fairly common occurrence during my days now, likely from all the salt tablets I’m ingesting…and all the food I’m not ingesting. I really don’t care, either. So, it’s been a bit since I really updated at all because I’ve been reblogging my endometriosis-related posts this month to spread awareness. But what else have I been up to?

An Existence I Can No Longer Have

An Existence I Can No Longer Have

Master Yoda was right. “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Well, give me my red lightsaber now. I’ve feared for the past year since I went on medical leave (on June 10, 2016) that this day would come. That my recovery wouldn’t happen fast enough for the almighty powers that be and that my position would be posted,

50 Questions You’ve Never Been Asked

50 Questions You’ve Never Been Asked

I love fun stuff like this. It’s distracting me from the hell hole that is my life lately. Thanks Dangerously Normal Spoonie for the idea! 1. What’s your favorite candle scent? North Pole from Yankee Candle. 2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister? Emma Watson 3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother? Tom Hiddleston (seriously, he’s only four years older than me.) 4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married? I was 24 when…

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Can’t I Just Be “Whelmed”?

Can’t I Just Be “Whelmed”?

via Daily Prompt: Overwhelming It doesn’t take a psychiatrist to figure out that right now my life is exceptionally overwhelming. I thought I’d gone through a lot last year, which I did. Unfortunately, it appears, at least so far, that 2017 is turning out to be a real stinker as well. And we’re only a month in! Maybe listing everything I’m overwhelmed about will help. I’ll try to make this as coherent as possible. However, between this perpetual brainfog and…

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A Day With Dysautonomia

A Day With Dysautonomia

What’s it like to have dysautonomia? Let me take you through a day in my compression socks so you have some idea of what I fight through on a daily basis. Imagine it’s a new day. You wake up and get out of bed. You do your business and then brush your teeth (with an electric toothbrush, by the way.) As you’re doing this, you place two of your fingers over your carotid artery. Your heart rate is rapid, probably in…

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Brain Fog

Brain Fog

There are a lot of things I hate about having dysautonomia. The dizziness, the lightheadedness, the tachycardia, the salt, the fluids, the compression socks (even though mine are cute), the occasional need for a wheelchair in public that makes people think I’m a crazy faker because sometimes I can walk and sometimes I can’t (because people don’t understand invisible disabilities.) But one of the main things I hate about dysautonomia is part of the reason I have been writing less…

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For All That You Have Done

For All That You Have Done

Start humming “Auld Lang Syne.” (Seriously, just work with me here.) “Your grace will never be forgot Your mercy all my life Will be my soul’s forever song My story and my light…” It’s easy for me to sit here and bash 2016 for what a horrendous year it was. I’ve already done a pretty good job of that in my personal journal. I am not yet done grieving the past year and what it did to me. But I…

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Top Posts of 2016: Endo and Tumors and Aneurysms, oh my!

Top Posts of 2016: Endo and Tumors and Aneurysms, oh my!

As the year is (finally!) drawing to a close, I decided to go back and look at some of my old posts to see how life has changed in the past six months since I started this blog. My goal was, and still is, to raise awareness about certain chronic health issues that affect me, including endometriosis, adenomyosis, infertility, depression, self harm, social anxiety, celiac disease, pituitary tumor, and I guess that pesky little aneurysm. Here are my top ten…

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We Wish You A Spoon-ful Christmas!

We Wish You A Spoon-ful Christmas!

Now that Christmas has come and gone, I suppose it’s time to be like everyone else and write about it! I’ll start with Christmas Eve, since that’s when all the action started. The day began quite horribly. I was still wearing the Holter monitor, and it’s a good thing too, because I was extremely symptomatic. I have never had to try so hard in my life to get off the couch. A lot of it was because I hated the…

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